Saigon stairs and the Ho Chi Minh Hustle

Determined to find the cheapest accomodation available in Saigon, we set off down a sufficiently dodgy alleyway after being evicted from our first choice (over an inexplicable and uncomprehendible commission fee, payable to whom wasn't clear) Fatigued and pissed off we settled for an equally cheap room...on the 6th floor. That evening unimpressed by the pricey bar scene, we stumbled accross a nearby park full of locals playing tic tac toe, after watching for a few minutes, we attracted a crowd of vietnamese students keen to practice their english. Found ourselves discussing everything from Hamlet, manchester united, and gender/relationship etiquette, plus got an impromptu history lesson from a Vietnamese war veteran. On our way home we decided to embrace all things vietnamese and sampled the nu rave coloured rice and vegetable pudding concoctions. Not advisable. The following morning we set about packing in Saigon's tourist sights, an amazing war museum, a rather ridiculous reunification palace and Saigon's legendary market known for its designer knock offs. After R narrowly avoided an assault from an overenthusiasitc sales woman ( only asked the price!) and D got hysterical over a
Jimmy Choo bag we decided it was time to retreat to the food stalls - best and cheapest food in Vietnam.

Keen to continue our cultural exploits, we embarked on a tour to the Cu Chi tunnels. the rushed 6.30 am start, confounded by a stream of nightbuses and late nights rendered us somewhat intyolerant of the overly chirpy tourguide, who despite our attempts at feined sleep and ipod appearances proceeded to spend a good hour talking at us in a heavily accented hysterical manner. Having unfortunately bagged the front two seats, we had to endure this until the obligatory handicapped handicraft pitstop when we strategically swapped seats. The tour itself, in which we got to crawl through (the albeit widened) tunnels reinacting how whole guerilla communities lived underground during the war. Much to our guides glee, a guy who loved anything explosive and or dangerous, we were herded through the endlessly creative booby traps devised for the americans. Simple yet effective was the mantra. The day was made all the more amusing by his tales of childhood explosive exploits...

One of the craziest experiences in Saigon, a city full of surprises, was the simple act of crossing the road - made Hanoi look like a breeze. We thought our school tesco-run training would stand us in good stead, we thought wrong; after hesitating at the side of the road for more than a pregnant pause, an wizened old woman took pity and herded us across. a ahndy hint from both our guides was to simply step into the road a preceed slowly as the traffic swerves artound you, we took particular heed to cuchi guides gleeful you run you die...

That evening per chance we bumped in to D's work colleages in one of the city's side alleys. Perfect cover to excuse ourselves from a newly acquire religious fanatic we'd encountered at the war museum. Lovely bloody jubly and an interesting chance to swap gap year tales.
After a day mooching around the city, we treated ourselves to a little luxury and all glammed up (ishh) we took much pleasure in directing our taxi to Saigon's exclusive Sheraton hotel to watch the sunset over the city from the 23rd floor cocktail bar. We had prepared oursleves in advance for the monumentally priced drinks, but much to our delight, after spending ages agonising over the menu, the waitress directed us to a happy hour section. Thoroughly enjoyed our one and a half cocktails and the views. for good measure we asked for refills of our complimentary nut plate and pocketed the cocktail stirrers and novalty items. Score. On our way home, good old facebook informed us that the Norweigan boys were in town and miraculously we managed to regroup- despite the lack of mobile phones and best efforts of the extraordinarily incompetent hotel clerk.

Not wanting to leave Vietnam without sampling the deep south, but with only a day to play with, we settled with a somewhat less adventurous but nonthe;less crammed daytour. thankfully the overly chatty cuchi guide was otherwise engaged and we piled into a crmaped minivan with a truckload of asian tourists and thankfully somewhat more sedate guide. Having stopped off yet again at our fav handicapped handicraft pitstop and a quick boat ride across the delta we arrived at our first island. here tourguide piped up with his microphone and proceeded to provide unintentional entertainment. he had a spectacular ability and penchant for repetition, it was as if he took the phrase 'tell em what your gonna tell em, tell 'em it, tell em youve told em' a little to literally -picture the translator scene in lost in translation - the corresponding vietnamese took all of 2secs. activity number 1 was a honey tea and banana biscuit tasting sesh made all the more amusing by our resident vietnamese granny siphoning off the ridiculously strong (esp given it was only 10am) 'banana wine' much to her daughters dismay. this was randomly folowed by a photo opportunity with a python; more complex than you would imagine - holding the snake's head at a compfortable distance from your neck amid visions of strangulations whilst not squeezing it too tight/ provoking it AND tryiung to pose. tyra banks eat your heart out. (unfortunatly due to Rs broken camera and D loosing her memory card we no longer have the photos to prove it..)
Next we had to endure some rather shrill local singing along with a fruit tasting sesh (now realising our hasty 6.30 breakfast was rather unnesc). We also got to try the infamous Durian - a fruit that has plagued our entire journey. For those of you that havnt witnessed this shocker it is the ugliset and smelliest fruit imaginable (of exotic rhol dahl proportions). so potent it's banned on the bangkok metro and taxis. weve since learnt that it can have a drug inducing effect making its rampant popularity in SE Asia a little more fathomable...

Activity number 3 took us to a coconut sweet making factory (D heaven?); on our boatride across to the 'cocnut island' we were told about the legend that is Mr Coconut. We eventually established that we were indeed dealing with, no not the founding father of a coconut region, but a coconut religion. Top dog aka Mr Coconut, who seemed a bit of sketchy character; had not only 9 wives btu encouraged women to worship in the nude. He also insisted his followers consumed a coconut based diet only and didn't leave the island. Or at least this is what we derived from our tour guides rather lengthy lecture on the matter. The coconut sweets themselves however, were uber tasty. Pleased to report no Mr. Coconut or His nude worshippers were to be seen.

The highlight of the trip had to be an idillic longtail boat trip with the mangroves, blue skies, plamtrees, locals going about their daily lives on the water ways - us learning the joys of a vietnamese coned hat.

After lunch, yet more tofu (ubiquitous veggie option), we embarked on a bike ride around the mangrove forests. This fairly standard activity sent our tourguide into a near breakdown, insisting that we all ride in tandem, he warned that if we were not adequately experienced on a bike, now was not the time to learn. That said we did manage to lose one group member much to the concern of our group and irritation of our hysterical little guide as he now herded us onto a ship back to the mainland.

We spent our last evening in Saigon feeling very Vietnamese, drinking Bier Hoi (30 cents for 2 litres), being scolded for playing (we now know illegal card games) and playing pool in Saigons answer to a sauna. Teary farewell to the boys as they headed to Bangkok and us to Cambodia.