FIIIISSSHTAAANK!!

Unfortunately our trip to Nha Trang and Mui Ne coincided with a major Vietnamese holiday, being two major destination points, literally half of Vietnam descended on these coastal resorts meaning big bucks and big crowds. undeterred, we were determined to have our big night and so after a brief vorspeil (!!) at our room set out in search of free buckets. By our second bar and under the over enthusiastic direction of a newly acquired English friend we settled for a fish tank, which boasted a variety of spirits but failed to mention the principle ingredient- ice cubes. Attempts at pool disintergrated and somewhat worse for wear we headed for the local club. With varying degrees of success we arrived, E in an epic fandangle with the power tripping bouncer, D indignantly continuing to don the anorak after a sneaky capture from Steeley, the latter of whom for no apparent reason was on the back of a motorbike. Needless to say much fun was had...

The following morning, nursing our hangovers we attempted to order breakfast in a local cafe-come-limo showroom- some with more success than others... with visions of an english brew, hotly anticipated after a seemingly successful negotiation with the waitress, D, was not impressed with the cold, bottled, green, tea...with milk on the side. Unlike everyone else at the table.

In anticiaption of some good old dirty fun, as promised by the lonely planet, we set off to Nha Trangs mud baths with the mayhem of Vang Vieng in mind. As we arrived it seemed every Veitnamese family had had the same idea and after being presented with the 'menu', dreams of mudfights soon vanished- we realised we'd got the wrong end of the stick. We soon embraced the highly regimented approach to mud bathery which involved the six of us wallowing in an awkward shaped bath full of watery mud. Picture the two of us plus the four lads dubiously watching the mud level rise whilsts trying to fit all our limbs in - made for 6 westerners it certainly was not...needless to say testostorone kicked in and steely ended up fully submerged with the vietnamese atendent unamusedly pouring ladels of water overhead. The next challenge was to get the mud off - not easy in a large comunnal shower packed with vietnamese men. The programme continued with a series of water 'experiences'; an eextremely and uncomfortably hot lpunge pool followed by jet spray track inot whihc you were packed, accompanied by a suspiciousy peey smell and much too many people. By the time we'de got to the 'waterfall' all a bit watered out and hungry, the 30degree 'swimming pool' was no longer attratcive especailly after Patrick had accidentally wandered inot the kiddies pool...not pleasant.

After saying our farewells to a fellow jungle beacher we and the two norweigen boys boarded the routine nightbus to Mui Ne. we were met by an uncompromising dictrator of a conductor who assigned us totally randomised seats ona deserted bus ruining our epic card game plans. on hearing a disgruntled grumble from the group he frantically began shoving A off the bus, but after shameless grovelling and an extensive ego massage, we said our farewells and departed for our seperate ends of the bus. After strking a deal with other disgruntled tourists we relocated and preceded to spend a frustarying hour endlessly circulating NT as the bus slowly filled..
With yet another 4am arrival we stumbled along MNs one neverending road and eventaully hailed a rare and impossibly small taxi. After stuffing it to 3/4 full with our bags we piled in; R, D and E vertical in the back seats with A pulling the short straw and lying horizontilly across us, feet out the window.

While making a plan for the day we'd been forwarened about the an important premiership match which was to be missed under no circumstance. This in mind we split up; the boys lingering in the vicinity, us managing to get bambozled into an extorionate ride to MNs famous sandunes. whilst it was a massive expanse of sand - a massive expanse of sand it was. The much anticipated sand boarding turned out to be little more than plastic sheets on a shortish slope - seen better in norfolk mate...By the time we'd arrived at the more exotic red sand dunes, it was dark. Not wanting to prolongue the humilitation, we prematuirely ended the trip and headed home for the hotly anticipated (!) match. Embarked on our laddiest night yet, with pool (attempts), darts, football and beer and then wined and dined at a beachside eatery. The combination of hilarious typos (grilled sally anyone?), even more absurd service (at one point our waiter sat down with us while he took a phone call - mid order..) and general banter made this our favourite place in Mui Ne - as the night drew to a close and we were the only guests left, the friendly waiter not so subtly motioned it was time to pay and leave. Keen to continue the night we headed for Mui Ne's one and only club. As we entered, we heard the roar of 'i'm a wizard'- we later deduced that if you drink your height in beer cans and then tape them together into a wizards stick... Wax indeed defines you as a wizard. After a couple of beers we conked out on the beach under the stars and unwizarded decided to call it a night.
Next stop Saigon.