ahoi Hanoi!

After successfully not dying in hanoi traffic- quite a feat we can tell you - we sought refuge at the notoriously beautiful unesco sight of halong bay. ahving heard of the perils of a cheap tour, we decided on a rather pricey 'flashpacker' option run by an expat-auzzie. little did we know the life of luxurty awaiting us. ater taking, what now feels like a very civilzed and spacious mini-van - with onyl one piut stop - we arrived and boarded a beautiful wooden pirate ship, childhood fantasises yet again realised as we sailed through the bays dramatic limestone crags set against azure blue waters. The ship itself housed about 12 of us in twin bunks with a rooftop lounge and middle deck dining room come bar. Despite this not being the cheapest tour on offer, for 35$ dollars a day we were staying aboard the ship, had a persoanl guide around, access to the more private areas and a crew who were always at hand, offering freshly laundered white flannels, cool drinks and made us feel like true ladies of leisure (they even unwrapped and opend waterbottles for us scoff scoff). More importantly we ate incredibly delicious seafood meals, the courses of which were never ending ( true to form we got our moneys wortyh - puddings were thrifly tucked away for later and stuffed oursleevs so much we hardy ate the following few days..)
This was a stark contrast to our hanoi hostel, whose 'aircon' ahem fan was infested with a musty smellign fungus, and whose toilet invariably flushed onto the floor.

On the first day of our tour, after exploring the views from one of the peaks, we were left to our own devises to discover the bay on canoes - predictably we were a little over-enthusiastic and after three hours found ourselves completelty lost. Ignoring Rs -lets-just-keep-going, D, mid panic attack, as it was now getting dark, decided to ask a local man in a cave for directions. On approach it dawned that not only did we not know where we were we had no idea where we were meant to eb nor the boat we were staying on..after sheepishly establishing this, we discovered that the only way back was the way we had come and contrary to our preconceived notions, there was no 'looped' route, and so faced a mammoth schlep in the dimming light resorting to singing Nelly the elephant to calm D down, and combining efforts in one canoe with the other towing behind. As we arrived the canoe rental dock, we saw the quite literally, our ship had sailed..thankfully the slightly disgruntled rental man speedboated us to the appropriate ship, much to the relief of our now quite worried guide. we were pleased to hear that our greatest fear hadnt been realsied and yes we had arrived in time for dinner. Phew... though stuck behind the other side of halong bay, had missed the sunset.

The following day was spent sunbathing on the upper deck, swimming and exploring Halongs vast caves... about two stone heavier we arrived back on shore where we hot-footed it on yet another night bus to Hoi An.

Into Viet Nam...

As our VIP bus drew up, we knew this would be no easy ride...we flashed back to our numerous discussions in both English, french and sign language as to just how long this border crossing would take..wasnt looking promising. As we climbed aboard we soon realised this bus was not made fro falang, and as the only non-vietnamese we were sent to the back, later a blessing in disguise as we could stretch out among the rice sacks and fashion foot stalls out o various pieces of luggage. we had been forewarned by various other tourists that the vietnamese manner was somewhat ruder than we'de been accustomed to, so we promptly set about ingratiating ourselves among our neighbours on whom we practiced our budding vietnamease. we got a few smiles. By lunch time, which we enjoyed at a local vietnamese canteen, we ahd discovered that friendliness was there you just had to work a little harder at it - which we decided was only fair and more was more rewarding anyway - we set about persuading it with vigour. one of the drawbacks of our :"VIP' bus was the lakc of touilet - instead evry couple fo hopurs the whole bus would descend to the road side and positiop themsleves accordingly - seemed surprisingly sensical and, though we are reluctant to say, humbling.unfortunately D didnt quite get the whole thing down and dropped her pants in a rather more central location than she'd initially realised. whoops. as well as these frequent pit stops, we regularly picked up people en route, many of whom were transporting various items across the border. one man took this too ar as he climbed aboard holding a wriggling sack of, we still to this day do not know what. this particular piece of cargo was to entertain us for the majority of the 14 hour journey, half way through the driver had had enough of the squeeking, and confiscating the bag which was demoted to the hold. on every available opportunity the 'cargo' would hop out and set off on an escape mission...see video.
the cargo again became center o attention as we crossed the border, was the object of much skillful bribery on the part of the driver..pleased to report that after a little concelament in a handbag it was smuggled across via a woman's motobike and resumed its journey with us. As we came into vietnam the weather seemed to chianeg almost instantly and we found ourselevs amongst towering mountains and in the midst of a thunderstorm. one of the conductors, now 13 hours in, took this moment to ahng with the falang - he was particularly enthralled with Ds ipod tough was nonplussed and Bob Marley was not appreciated/ reconised. tut tut. We again witness to the vietnamese hospitality as while unloading our bags ij the rain, the driver insisted on insuring our numerous bags were taken care of and we were thoroughly thief proofed. arriving in Hue we found a local eatery where we were very welcomed and used the good old sign language to varying effect - managed to order a very delicious but rather massive seafood (plus beef?!) platter ater some sightseeing tours on motobikes with locals, and appreciating the chinese influenced architectural sights we caught a nifty little nightbus complete with seperate beds and blankets up to Hanoi. pleased to report got the hang of this sleeping on buses..

Welcome to the Year 2553.

We decided to spend the notorious lao new year in a city, so jumped aboard a local bus from the 4000 islands to Pakse. As we arrived, at 8am, "phi mi lao" (be my lao) was already in full swing - we were met with a rather drunkenly enthusiastic tuk tuk driver who wasted no time in offering us beer, spraying the dregs on a colleague and then proceeded to cram in us, and no less than 18 other locals..tight squeeze.
After settling in, we decided to take a stroll in search of some phi my lao festivities; we soon found out. BY lunch time the street had transformed into a quasi- carnival, with local families and restaurants setting up mini street party complete with hoses and bu7ckets of water , karaoke and of course lots of beer lao. it is considered to bring good luck to tip water over (followed y talcum powder for good measure) on passers by and invite them into your home for boogie and beer - this was particularly enthusiastically bestowed on us as as we were falang. Most memorably, a rowdy group of transexuals and a large welcoming family whose filming of the occasion we now feature in highly...
Things later escalated as pick up truck gangs, complete with installed paddling pools guns, co-ordinated uniforms plus anthem, patrolled the streets rendering all fellow motorists and passers by (including the police) at their mercy.
Picture the two of us stumbling around soaked, covered in talcum powder, a weird red dye, plus Rs unfortunate choice of 'ethnic' skirt which left her feet a bright fuschia pink.
On our way home we stumbled upon the major phi my lao procession with decorative floats, where the more traditional blessed water was thrown, we were soon persuaded to join the procession to the local temple by a local water factory worker - amazing to be part of the town coming together and the sounds of the crowds and the drums...
While these antics were much fun and highly appreciated, thanks to the sweltering 44degree heat, by nightfall, we were running down the back alleys.

The next day was mainly occupied trying to organise our 'VIP' bus to vietnam and circumnavigating the phi mi lao closures.

Vang Vieng: suicidal slides, lao lao mudbath and friends

We had some indication of what Vang Vieng had instore for us, but no one could fully describe the essence of the Ibiza style toursit haven. We arrived at midday, finding ourselves, for the first time, at the mercy of laos' notorius april sun during which we trekked around searching for accomodation without bedbugs. At this stage in the day, the town resembled a wild west ghost town - the streets and bars were empty save for a few stoners watching the endless screens of friends or family guy..what had we got ourselves into?

despite the natural beauty of vv, main attractions are the (non curfew adering) bars with their free 'buckets' comprised of lao lao whisky and mixers. Given the former is cheaper you can imagine the strength these things had..This said, we must admit we had more than our fair share and shamefully enjoyed ourselves...
we launched ourselves into the vv lifestyle and caught a tuk tuk downto the river to experience tubing - a multitude of bars lining the mekong.
we swam from bar to bar hauling oursleves up on the bamboo platforms joing the crowd of people partying to the tubing favs ahem sean paul and soulja boy, sampling free whisy shots and partaking in weird and wacky drinking games.

to add to the mahem, there were trapeze swings, zip wires and slides competing for notoriety and attracting a multitude of foolsih falang..with a little dutch courage we braved one of each. adrenaline evoking at time - bruise inducing the next day. we also witnessed one of the frequent accidents, as a girl came up unconcious after the imapact of the water - a worrying number of similar incidents floated about the bars that evening...After a much needed, but wholly unintended 'conk out' we hit bucket bar happy hour - our fav club complete with hammocks and overwhelmingly unnecessary bonfires.





the following day, the idea of drinking now physically repulsive, we joined a crew heading out to the much hyped blue lagoon - it didnt dissapoint. quiet and tranquil, its vibrant blue stream was inticingly cool and offered much needed respite from the heat. after jenga and cards we set out on a new mission to conquer the caves. stalgmites, stalagtites, buddhas, deathly drops and engulfing darkness. all in flip flops.




On the third evening we found the Lao Laos, who true to form plied us with alcohol and destroyed us at drinking games (cue Artuurs advice to PRETEND to drink!!) after a long and messy night we agreed to meet them for a final day of tubing - the majority of which we spent in the ingenious mud bar. we and an army of ornage tshirt clad lao laos, battled it out at mud-volley ball\ mud fight\ mud sliding. the more hilarious of the two on offer had to be mud tug of war in which the losing team were propelled into a stinking watery mud trough. thankfully we were always on the winning team...

despite the slightly souless atmosphere, the locals hospitatlity never wavered, each morning - a little worse for wear - we'de clamber to our nearest breakfast bar where the owner treated us to samples of his breakfast and reduced rates. what a star.

By the fifth day the soundtrack and call to party had become grating to say the least...After all the tomfoolery, we decided that a stint of volunteering at the local organic mulberry farm and community centre would be just what the doctor ordered and would offset our bad tourist footprint. After a suspiciously short Tuk Tuk ride, we arrived at the supposedly tranquil 'farm'. Quiet and tranquil it was not. The mayhem of the tubing could still be heard above the booming baseline. We swiftly decided that this, accompanied by the baking heat and possiblity of partaking in 'building work' volunteering was simply not inline with our gap year ideas and went beyond the pale of any moral duties. We beelined it to the local bus station at which we proceeded to spend three hours waiting for the bus rather than risk being roped into any further shenanegans. Daniella's reoccurring stomach nightmares has already started to rear it's ugly head. We set off for the (we now realise) very fairly reputated sleepy capital of Vientiane.

Laos PDR - Please Dont Rush

After all the excitment and exersion of the gibbon experience we decided to slow thigns down a little bit on the aptly named mekong river slowbvoat - a two day trip floating from the thai border to Lunag Prabang - Laos' most picturesque city. After meeting a fellow ex gibbon experiencer we swapped stories and settled in; playing cards, watching ash rain down as the bamboo forests burnt around us. occasionaly we would stop at small villages delivery fridges and picking people up along the way. Ocassionaly groups of young locals leant off the rocks as we went by dangling homemade items for sale.




After an overnight pitstop we arrived the following evenign at Luang Prabang with a newly formed slowboat family in tow. We soon managed to stumble upon the cheapest, and grottiest guesthouse Luang Prabang had to offer. The novelty of the free bananas and water soon wore off as it transpired that it poisoned half our guest house- D included. We soon bumped into a gruop of travellers, who intorduced us to the super cheap street BBQ and buffet. We then all ventured to two of LP's finest clubs, finally ending up at the bowling alley THE place to be from 12-3am thanks to the Lao 11.30pm curfew. As the drinks flowed the bowling progressively deteriorated...(not that we were that good to begin with). The following day we had arranged to meet the others and check out Lp's famous waterfall- a 40 mintue tuk tuk ride and arduos climb to a beatiful network of pools, almost artificially blue in colour. As it was the weekend the area was full of crazy Laos letting there hair down on the rope swings.








As Daniella lay in bed with a stomach upset, R and our new roomie/ fellow slowboater Artuur went out in search of a goodtime..as the bar was about to close a group of gay laotians and 'Peng' (whose name we were much amused by) invited us to drink with them and play cards beyond curfew - however with its flumoxing rules - a combination of Poker, Rummie and Whist with 2 the highest card - we were content to just watch. turned out to be rather wealthy club owners who treated us to free nights in LP and later in Vang Vieng...loads of fun.

One morning, in search of a truly authentic Luang Prabang experience, we woke at dawn and headed to observe the monks recieve alms from the local community- beautiful. We were also a little shocked by the size of the smaller ones who looked about age eight. By this point, Luang Prabang was experiencing some stormy weather. The night before, we had climbed (mid thunder storm) the highest peak of LP home to it's famous Wat. Stunning views of the city, outlying hills and rivers. Expecially witht the backdrop of a storm. After a good couple of nights of partying and bowling, we decided to chill out and dry off in front of a movie in a french bookshop come cinema.



thanks to the french colonial influence we indulged in many bakery snacks: cinnamon wirls, pasteries, crepes and baguettes galore. after our longest stay so far we were sorry to leave and a bit apprehensuive of the notorious road aheadm - Laos' windiest 5 hour stretch. This was exacerbated by tales of minivans getting trapped between slash and burn fires...